Our 12 year old has been dealing with being bullied for a long time. At first I put his anger down to being a reaction to the situation he was in but as time goes on I’m not sure that that’s all it is.
His angry outburts seem to come from nowhere, the smallest things can trigger them and they can last for hours. While he’s in an angry state he kicks things, throws things and punches things, rarely people usually just objects but it’s dangerous. There doesn’t seem to be any way to calm him down other than to just leave him to go through the motions but as I said above thats dangerous both to him and others.
We were chatting about it last night after another episode and he says he just can’t control it and he just can’t calm down. A lot of the time he can’t even remember what he’s said or done in these episodes. He feel’s really overwhelmed and anxious about it happening again but he just can’t stop it.
For a long time I’ve been putting it down to outside factors like the bullying and that being in the house surrounded by people who love him he feel’s safe enough to just get it all out but I feel that we’ve gone past that point now and it’s affecting the whole family to an extent where we need to try and get outside help. We just can’t deal with this on our own anymore. The anger and agression aren’t the only problems, he lies like his life depends on it, he can’t seem to tell truth from fiction and even if he knows without a doubt we know the truth he’ll still continue lying as though it’s fact.
He’s so full of regret and upset after these outbursts happen, he doesn’t mean to say the things he does or react physically the way he does but he just can’t stop it once it’s started.
He also has trouble making friends, every day we send him off to school and he hates it because he’s got no one. not a single friend. My heart is breaking for him but I have no idea how to help. We thought he’d make friends on the bus to and from school but 2 of his worst bullies get on that bus and after way too many incidents he refuses to go on there now. We have to drop him off and pick him up daily as if we didn’t he just wouldn’t go. The thought of getting on the bus makes him feel physically ill. We just don’t know what to do. How can we help him with his social skills? I’m not great with people myself so I’m clueless to be honest. Is this my fault? Has he inherited my social awkwardness? Have we kept him too young to be able to gel with his peers?
Our little boy has no sparkle anymore. All the life has gone out of his eyes. He’s miserable, anxious and getting into trouble at school. He’s having more and more problems and he’s beconing more and more unhappy every single day. It’s killing me inside, I’m losing my sparkle right along side him. It really is true that your heart lives outside of your body once you have children and right now I feel like mines being stamped on.
See you next time, Em xXx