Family · Health

Behind the glass

So I’ve had a lot of problems with pre and post natal depression.  I’ve suffered post natal depression after 4 of my kids and during the pregnancies with 3 of them.  2 weeks ago I realised I was so far under that there was no coming back without help.

Going to the dr was so hard.  I didn’t want to admit I wasn’t coping.  I felt so ashamed that after almost 3 years of feeling ok I was back to feeling completely useless.  I was miserable.  I wasn’t enjoying my children and the house was just a mess.  My motivation for anything except laying in bed went out the window.  I felt like I was outside looking in and there was a clear barrier between me and everything else.

The dr’s visit was short.  I had to get an emergency appointment as there’s never anything else available and if I didn’t go that day I’d find some reason not to at all.  The dr was very dismissive, I felt as though he’d read my file and totally pre judged the situation and obviously didn’t think it was an emergency.  He basically asked me what medication I’d had in the past and how much then just prescribed that.  The only thing he asked was whether I’d had any previous experience of depression outwith pre/post natal which is hilarious as I was basically pre or post for 10 years, how do I know what I’m actually like when my hormones have been all over the place for that long!

The medication has made me feel horrendous.  I have no appetite and just feel so flat all the time.  They’ve not had time to kick in yet so I’m hoping the complete exhaustion and nausea along with the loss of appetite will sort itself out eventually but I know I have a long road ahead of adjustments and I’m dreading the whole process.

I’ve given myself a huge kick up the ass this weekend and I’ve actually managed to spend time with my family and actually had fun.  I feel positive because I know I’m on the road to recovery, however long that is.

See you next time, Em xXx

9 thoughts on “Behind the glass

  1. I know what you mean about Dr’s, I really hope the meds start to kick in soon and you start to feel more like you again, and it is nice to see you have had a lovely weekend with your family x

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  2. You’ve done the best thing for you Hun. Not great the GP wasn’t so helpful or even had time for listening to you. I was like this at Christmas and went back on meds. It takes a while to kick in as you know already but you also know it will get better too. Keep going strong mama

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      1. The medics would say no it’s not Pnd but if you are still dealing with some of the feelings that stem back to your time with Pnd then it’s definitely had an impact. What ever its labelled as, you know yourself you need that help and support. Xxx

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